It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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