i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize