I got her a Nickelback box set.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
