I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize