yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
