i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
