You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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