Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
