he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
