it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
