also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
