No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
