He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
