I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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