ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ambien. No doubt about it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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