$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize