OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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