Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
