she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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