I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
