Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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