Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
