i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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