I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
