i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
