why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
