I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
