So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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