I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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