I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
