I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
