she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
