I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
