just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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