You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
