This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
