Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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