"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
