He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
