It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
