Don't you send me to vm
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
