My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
