Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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