new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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