you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
