so that wasnt chicken after all
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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