I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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