I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
