ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
