I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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