my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
