I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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