Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
