I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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