She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
