Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
