Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
