What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
