im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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